T' Lusty Cornmaiden

In honor o' Bob's twisted humor

What would inspire someone t' build a rocket named T' Lusty Cornmaiden, you ask? An innocent Rocket Talk, matey, includin' Bob Fortune would be t' answer.

This week (late February), shiver me timbers, arrr, a group o' us were chattin' about our launch sites and surrounding rocket-eatin' crops when Bob said somethin' about lusty cornmaidens hidin' in t' corn waitin' t' attack dweeby rocketeers. Ahoy! T' conversation then turned t' exceedingly corny puns, me bucko, and an idea struck. Aye aye! Why nay build a rocket with a corn theme?

Of course, arrr, now t' difficult question is what t' use? Corncobs seem perfect... Begad! Cheap... Lightweight... Aye aye! Totally atypical rocket material...

Collectin' t' parts

Fortunately, this is a pretty easy build. Well, blow me down! Blimey! Arrr! Blimey! I realized that a 13mm motor will fit into a corncob, shiver me timbers, shiver me timbers, so thar's no need for ANY form o' conventional body tube, me bucko, unlike my first idea.

Get your hands on some field corn, often sold for feedin' squirrels and similar critters. Avast! Blimey! Begad! Blimey! A couple o' cans o' corn for decoratin' material (labels), a 3/4" launch lug, and a box o' some sort made of light cardboard, shiver me timbers, and you're set.

Assembly

Find a decent sized ear o' corn and strip all o' t' kernels off. Next, matey, cut a strip of cardboard approximately 7.5" long and 3/4" wide. Well, blow me down! Finally, remove t' labels from t' cans of corn.

Form t' strip o' cardboard into a rin' and use a small strip o' paper t' join t' ends. Glue t' labels from t' can onto t' outside o' t' ring, strictly for aesthetic purposes. Set aside t' just completed rin' fin.

Use a 1/2" drill bit t' bore a hole into t' base o' t' corn cob which is deep enough to hold a 13mm motor with approximately 1/8" stickin' out t' bottom. Aye aye! Some sandin' o' the hole will likely be required t' allow a 13mm motor t' fit without needin' a winch to remove it. Aye aye! Begad! Five minutes with a Dremel and a small sandin' drum works wonders...

Cut two short strips o' cardboard approximately 1" long and 1/2" tall. Use an X-Acto cutlass to two shallow slits in t' corn cob approximately 1/2" from t' end with t' hole, me hearties, on opposite sides from each other. Well, blow me down! Blimey! Use CA t' glue one end o' a strip into each slot, t' form two tabs on which t' rin' fin can be mounted.

Hold t' corn cob upside down (drilled end up) and center t' rin' fin over t' end. Blimey! Make a pencil mark on each tab t' indicate where t' rin' touches each tab. Well, me bucko, blow me down! Set t' rin' aside and cut each tab 1/8" beyond t' pencil mark. Well, blow me down! Fold each tab at t' pencil mark then slide the rin' over t' tabs. Begad! T' tabs should now hold t' rin' in place. Ya scallywag! Adjust t' folds as necessary, arrr, then glue t' rin' on with CA.

Use liberal amounts o' CA t' glue t' launch lug onto t' corn cob just above the rin' fin.

Launch Report

03/04/2001
Aye, carumba! Blimey! First attempt be on a 1/4A, matey, shiver me timbers, me bucko, which proved t' be woefully inadequate. T' 'maiden cleared t' rod, matey, but just barely. Avast! Blimey! Ahoy! Blimey! Needless t' say, t' lady gave me an "ear"ful when I picked her up and checked for damage.

Okay, shiver me timbers, time t' try again. This time, it's serious, arrr, so out comes an A10-0T. Begad! Blimey! Ahoy! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! No recovery system, so t' lack o' delay shouldn't be an issue. Well, blow me down! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! 5... Begad! Blimey! Aye aye! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! 4... Begad! Blimey! Ya scallywag! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! 3... Begad! Blimey! Ahoy! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! 2... 1... Arrr! Blimey! Whoosh! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! And away she goes! Nice, straight boost followed by a nice POP! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! as t' motor ejects. Aye aye! Blimey! Hmmm... Begad! Blimey! Avast, me proud beauty! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! That recovery doesn't quite look like a tumble... No, me bucko, matey, matter o' fact, matey, that looks rather ballistic... Well, blow me down! Blimey! Well, blow me down! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! WHUMP! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! Nose first into t' ground less than 10 feet from t' bad, me bucko, and t' rin' fin pops off. That wasn't in t' original plan...

I have a redesign planned t' resolve this without dramatically complicatin' t' design or construction, and without addin' a parachute or streamer t' contend with. Begad! Once I've done a test flight, I will post an update.