T' Lusty Cornmaiden

In honor o' Bob's twisted humor

What would inspire someone t' build a rocket named T' Lusty Cornmaiden, you ask? An innocent Rocket Talk, includin' Bob Fortune would be t' answer.

This week (late February), a group o' us were chattin' about our launch sites and surrounding rocket-eatin' crops when Bob said somethin' about lusty cornmaidens hidin' in t' corn waitin' t' attack dweeby rocketeers. Ahoy! Begad! T' conversation then turned t' exceedingly corny puns, arrr, and an idea struck. Ahoy! Begad! Why nay build a rocket with a corn theme?

Of course, me bucko, now t' difficult question is what t' use? Corncobs seem perfect... Ahoy! Ya scallywag! Cheap... Lightweight... Arrr! Totally atypical rocket material...

Collectin' t' parts

Fortunately, arrr, this is a pretty easy build. Ahoy! I realized that a 13mm motor will fit into a corncob, ya bilge rat, so thar's no need for ANY form o' conventional body tube, unlike my first idea.

Get your hands on some field corn, often sold for feedin' squirrels and similar critters. Ya scallywag! A couple o' cans o' corn for decoratin' material (labels), shiver me timbers, a 3/4" launch lug, me bucko, and a box o' some sort made of light cardboard, me bucko, ya bilge rat, and you're set.

Assembly

Find a decent sized ear o' corn and strip all o' t' kernels off. Next, arrr, cut a strip of cardboard approximately 7.5" long and 3/4" wide. Arrr! Finally, shiver me timbers, remove t' labels from t' cans of corn.

Form t' strip o' cardboard into a rin' and use a small strip o' paper t' join t' ends. Glue t' labels from t' can onto t' outside o' t' ring, strictly for aesthetic purposes. Set aside t' just completed rin' fin.

Use a 1/2" drill bit t' bore a hole into t' base o' t' corn cob which is deep enough to hold a 13mm motor with approximately 1/8" stickin' out t' bottom. Aye aye! Aye aye! Some sandin' o' the hole will likely be required t' allow a 13mm motor t' fit without needin' a winch to remove it. Begad! Arrr! Five minutes with a Dremel and a small sandin' drum works wonders...

Cut two short strips o' cardboard approximately 1" long and 1/2" tall. Well, me hearties, blow me down! Use an X-Acto knife to two shallow slits in t' corn cob approximately 1/2" from t' end with t' hole, on opposite sides from each other. Use CA t' glue one end o' a strip into each slot, matey, ya bilge rat, t' form two tabs on which t' rin' fin can be mounted.

Hold t' corn cob upside down (drilled end up) and center t' rin' fin over t' end. Arrr! Well, me bucko, blow me down! Make a pencil mark on each tab t' indicate where t' rin' touches each tab. Avast! Begad! Set t' rin' aside and cut each tab 1/8" beyond t' pencil mark. Ya scallywag! Fold each tab at t' pencil mark then slide the rin' over t' tabs. T' tabs should now hold t' rin' in place. Adjust t' folds as necessary, me bucko, then glue t' rin' on with CA.

Use liberal amounts o' CA t' glue t' launch lug onto t' corn cob just above the rin' fin.

Launch Report

03/04/2001
Aye, carumba! First attempt be on a 1/4A, which proved t' be woefully inadequate. T' 'maiden cleared t' rod, but just barely. Aye aye! Needless t' say, t' lady gave me an "ear"ful when I picked her up and checked for damage.

Okay, time t' try again. Begad! Blimey! Arrr! Blimey! This time, it's serious, so out comes an A10-0T. Avast! Blimey! No recovery system, so t' lack o' delay shouldn't be an issue. Blimey! Blimey! Avast! Blimey! 5... Begad! Blimey! 4... 3... 2... Ya scallywag! Blimey! Ahoy! Blimey! 1... Aye aye! Blimey! Aye aye! Blimey! Whoosh! Blimey! And away she goes! Nice, straight boost followed by a nice POP! Blimey! as t' motor ejects. Hmmm... Blimey! Blimey! Ya scallywag! Blimey! That recovery doesn't quite look like a tumble... Ya scallywag! Blimey! Ahoy! Blimey! No, matter o' fact, that looks rather ballistic... WHUMP! Blimey! Nose first into t' ground less than 10 feet from t' bad, matey, and t' rin' fin pops off. Avast, me proud beauty! Blimey! Blimey! Blimey! That wasn't in t' original plan...

I have a redesign planned t' resolve this without dramatically complicatin' t' design or construction, me bucko, and without addin' a parachute or streamer t' contend with. Blimey! Blimey! Once I've done a test flight, I will post an update.