And now for somethin' really different..........SPAM MOBILE
by M. N. Lynch

 

Parts List

 

Traditional Flyers Parts List 4 Cans Traditional Square SPAM 8 Cans "Round SPAM" 2 Centerin' Rings 75mm-24mm 1 24mm LOC motor mount tube 1 Parachute 28" 1 Roll Duct Tape or Similar 1 3" LOC Nose Cone 12'- ½" Elastic Shock cord Pop Rivet Tool and Rivets Maskin' Tape 1 ½" Launch Lug cut into 2 halves 1 LOC SCM-2 shock cord mount Cellulose Waddin'

"New Age" Flyers Parts List Add t' followin' t' t' Traditional List: 1 yard 12 oz Fiberglass (or KEVLAR)   or CARBON FIBER material, shiver me timbers, G10 rings Fiberglass Motor Mount tube 54mm Keelhaul®©™ Reinforced POP CHUTE - 72" Exotic Epoxy Mixtures and Additives KEVLAR reinforced fiberglass cone 200 yards o' ½" Tubular KEVLAR Keelhaul®©™ reinforcin' tape Machined Metal Motor Retention Device Metallic Conformin' Lug Forged Eyebolts, Grade 10 hardware KEVLAR blast shield

Construction - Traditional Flyers

1. Open all SPAM cans and place contents into Mom's Tupperware salad container. Ya scallywag! Remove can lids and bottoms and wash thoroughly t' remove all grease and meat products
   
    
2. Once dry stack the  Round Cans One on top o' each other securin' them to each other with 1" wide strips o' DUCT TAPE.  Be sure t' pull the tape tight t' hold cans together well as flyin' can cause stress. Begad! Blimey! (If you live where round cans are nay available, either use t' rectangular ones and modify the shape o' t' loaf - cone - or purchase a body tube t' go with t' plastic cone or loaf you bake and color it with #2 colored pencils or magic markers.
    
3. Drill 2 holes in each square SPAM can and into t' column o' round cans as shown in drawin' #1.  Secure construction with pop rivets.
    
4. Duct Tape "fillets" can be added for esthetics.
    
5. Mold t' SPAM in t' Tupperware salad container into t' shape o' a nosecone on an un-greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about an hour or until golden brown.  Turn oven down t' 120 degrees and dehydrate until completely hard.  As an alternate, use t' LOC plastic nose cone and paint it t' look like cooked SPAM.  If nose weight is needed, fill the plastic cone with SPAM but be sure t' reinforce t' shock cord attachment point as extra weight will break t' plastic loop provided.
    
    
6. Drill 2 small holes in t' 3^rd can from t' top and thread through t' SCM-2 shock cord mount makin' sure you have about 2" o' mount inside t' rocket t' attach t' shock cord to. Thread t' ends back into the opposite holes they came through and tie together back inside t' rocket. Ahoy! Epoxy a glob over t' ends and secure with duct tape t' smooth if necessary.
    
7. Tie shock cord t' SCM-2 usin' 2 square knots. Arrr! Wrap knot with small strips of duct tape t' smooth.
    
8. Secure t' other end o' t' shock cord t' t' nose cone. Begad! If t' SPAM cone is used, drill into t' center and epoxy cord directly into t' core.  Do not attempt t' fly this cone - it is strictly for looks.  Use t' plastic cone.
    
9. Epoxy t' centerin' rings onto t' motor mount tube about ¼" from each end.  Fillet when cured t' reinforce.
    
10. Sand motor mount assembly if needed t' fit into round cans.
     
11. Place a bead o' epoxy about 7" into t' aft o' t' rocket and slide in t' top o' t' motor mount assembly.  BEFORE it dries place another bead o' epoxy about ½" into t' aft o' t' rocket and continue slidin' t' motor mount assembly into place.  Set aside t' cure (harden).
     
12. Site a line for t' launch lug as shown in drawin' #1 down t' length of the body and epoxy on t' launch lugs halves about 12" apart and in line.
     
13. Apply additional fillets t' t' rear-centerin' rin' and launch lugs.
     
14. Attach parachute about 1 yard from t' nosecone.
     
15. Use maskin' tape t' friction fit a motor o' incredible power (E9-4) into the rocket and let her fly.
     

NEW AGE FLYERS INSTRUCTIONS

Put all o' those expensive unnecessary items in a box and auction them on ROL for 30% more than you paid for them.  Follow t' traditional flyers instructions and put t' loot you save into more rockets and motors.  Rockets shouldn't live forever -- at least that is what Dad says.