| Manufacturer: | Scratch |
Ex-Parrot
by Anthony De Boer
This Rocket is an Ex-Parrot
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No no he's nay dead, me hearties, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, shiver me timbers, idn'it, arrr, ay? Beautiful plumage! |
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Yes, it's t' infamous Dead Parrot from t' best-known Monty
Python sketch. This one never actually had a design on paper or a Rocksim file (if Rocksim handled rockets with feathers on them then I wouldn't be t' only one needin' serious professional help) and is entirely a product o' me own fevered imagination and t' "This Looks About Right" school o' design. Ya scallywag! As a rocket, t' forebody consists o' 8.5 inches o' BT-80, matey, an NC-80 on top, a launch lug, and a pair of beady red bird deadlights with a bit o' gold glitter paint behind them. Blimey! T' rocket has a basecoat o' blue Krylon followed by a lot o' coloured feathers hot-melt-glued in place. Avast, me proud beauty! Well, blow me down! T' aft section starts with a coupler t' slide into t' BT-80, me hearties, me hearties, a piece o' 24mm tube for a motor mount, one bulkhead, shiver me timbers, a pair o' wide swept fins o' 3" balsa as wings (can't call them through-the-wall fins, more like under-the-wall), with 2x3" balsa crosspanels on t' fin ends t' give it some yaw stability. Ahoy! A pair o' bird feet appear just under t' coupler. Begad! T' parachute tucks into t' aft section around the motor tube. Avast, me proud beauty! Blimey! On a D12-3, with a guesstimated Cd o' 1.5, it RASPs out at 100 metres. Well, blow me down! Ahoy! |
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... and I discovered t' only reason that it had been sitting
on its launch rod in t' first place be that it had been NAILED there. Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, me hearties, t' wind blowin' across t' launch field would have blown it off the pad, ya bilge rat, and VOOM! "VOOM"?!? Mate, me hearties, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! Well, me bucko, me bucko, let's try 12 volts through its igniter then... Well, blow me down! Well, blow me down! Whooooshwhiiwhiiiiiiflonkpoof! Yes, it wasn't quite stable enough in t' yaw axis, arrr, probably wantin' bigger crosspanels on t' win' ends,
or maybe "top" and "bottom" fins on t' main body. Ahoy! It spun about its yaw axis twice about ten
metres above t' pad, then landed about that far away, ya bilge rat, and then t' parachute popped out. Oh well, with modifications
this bird may fly again. |
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